Never Forget Not An Option
Don’t Worry I Won’t Forget a Billboard in the Middle of The Ocean Won’t Let Me
Over the past few years since Covid stopped relegating us to our homes I’ve decided not to be in New York during September 11. I’ve managed to be in Los Angeles, London, Cadiz, Miami … anywhere but the city I should be in. I say that because I’ve tried to be mindful while taking a break from thinking about the worst day in U.S. history. Life won’t give me a break from it.
I was swimming in the ocean over the weekend and low and behold a new way of promoting “NEVER FORGET” reminded me that I really should stop trying. Maritime advertising has been around for quite some time but I thought it would be a banner blowing in the wind behind a Cessna plane, not on a floating barge.
I take it in stride. You kind of have to. And seriously you can’t blame anyone for this, it’s a valiant effort I’m sure by some guy who decided to be patriotic or some beer company with a need to show their human side.
Of course, we don’t need reminders, do we? If we were alive on September 11, 2001, we will never forget.
It’s fascinating that all these years later I can remember what seems like every little moment of that morning. Everything really did seem perfect. Everything seemed to be in line. When you think about the day right before everything went wrong it’s hard to imagine anything so tragic starting out that way.
I do my best every year to remember that morning. Honor it by watching the sun rise if there is one. It reminds me that we get a chance to live through it and that we are not alone. Everyone felt this in whatever capacity and although you can’t help but feel alone help is just a text or a call away.
Equally as fascinating is how little something that looms so large in our lives rarely gets talked about on a personal level. And it’s a choice we make. We don’t want to talk about it. We lived through it but the last thing we want to do is relive it. I’m not sure that’s the right way. So much of who I was is gone, and it keeps chiseling off pieces of me each year while being replaced by anger and sadness that I still need to deal with.
I’ve said it before September 11 doesn’t seem to have a timeline. I think about various parts of it at various moments every day of my life. You are never just trying to solve or deal with one type of grief and you are never grieving over one person or one incident. It’s a series of events that continue and it is perpetuated year after year as more people continue to lose their battles.
Sometimes I look back at that kid and want to ask him were you trying to be fearless or were you just that fucking ignorant? Did you realize that you’d be sick, that you’d be tormented for the rest of your life? Did you know you’d carry this shit with you everywhere you go no matter where in the world? Even in the middle of the ocean?
It’s been 22 years … To the people I knew you are missed every day. Mike Marti, Jennifer Mazzotta, Lucy Crifasi, Volunteer EMT Richie Pearlman, Sean Powell, Dominique Pandolfo, Firefighters John Moran, Adam Rand, Joe Hunter and John Giordano.
